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Is My Name White Enough For You?

Honey, if you can say Aphrodisiac...


Jen and me,

joined the team

on the same day

We were both new

and equally excited.

I could even be 

slightly funnier.

 

Yet, this is lunch time

on my first day

at my first job

and Jen is across the hall

laughing at my colleague´s jokes

at the falafel store next street,

while I fidget with the vending machine

 

Could it be because

Of my name?

The one that makes even the most eloquent stutter

The one that makes me “the other”

The one that isn´t 

white enough for the board rooms

For after parties

The thought stays with me

towards the evening

as I walk home,

my beautiful street

laden with trees

and I see again, 

my post was not delivered

the neighbors look at me

like I don't belong here

and they just have to

bear me.

I am a brown wildflower,

sticking out,

over the fence,

of a whitewashed wall.

 

You say, so easily,

Maybe change your name?

I could,

But I am tired of

Melting into forms

 

To conform to a white world.

 

Honey, if you can say Aphrodisiac 

you can say my name.

If you can say Lebensabschnittpartner

you can say my name,

 

 Honey, the least you can do

is say my name,

for, I am exhausted of,

molding my world,

so you can save on a syllable.

About the author

Manasi is a Physics student turned Consultant who writes as a side hustle. Her writing ranges from sociopolitical issues, to feminism, being a woman of color, to relatively lighter topics for instance adventure, hiking and travel. She is currently living and working in Germany and can be found writing under @Fuelkumari on Instagram.

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